Monday, October 10, 2005

Never Say, Never Again...

And finally, my anniversary beautiful year of tugging at my heart and soul has passed by...all i have written has surprised me...never thought i could be so honest about myself with so many friends, family and strangers reading. Life certainly has come back a full circle...i still remember keying down the first post at the san diego state university library, tired of job applications, worrying where the next job would come from, a bank account strained to the last penny, in a vast city with not a single soul i could call a friend, reading this article on rediff about blogging and deciding to give it a try...and here I am, 45 posts later...having made the most of what first started as a hobby, then a time-killer and today a passion. Cant forget the first time I publicized this blog, hesitatly to classmates, when Arun Hari also started to write, the first comments on this blog when Neil came visiting, and then Silverine and thru their sites came to know of the wonderful fraternity of kerala bloggers already sharing their wares.

I have connected with so many talented mallus miles and miles away from me as we admired each other's writings, exchanged viewpoints and broadened our horizons, reading what ordinary people like me do to make the most of our lives. Visiting all your blogs has become my first priority while kicking off the morning's work and i've been so able to relate to all what you guys write that i have found it hard to curb my comments from getting long and infuriating. Every comment you guys left here have been so has given me so much confidence and driven me to write a better blog the next time on...I will definitely keep in touch with you all and look forward to meeting as many of you as possible in december. And I've been pleasantly surprised by quite a few silent readers emailing to convey their appreciation for my blogs. I have wondered whether its a nice idea to take a small break from blogging and get back to it refreshed and rejuvenated during the india trip in december. My posts have become stale, my perspectives repetitive, and having found my comfort zones my writing style failed to evolve, nor did I make the effort to nudge myself out.

I approached this post certain that this would be my last. But as the post took shape I realized I was in danger of eating my words. Countless times in the past year, even under the severe grip of the writers' block I have overcome all my mental barriers to keep my dear blog going. The two-month break I plan to take is going to be hard on me but then time flies...the flights of fantasy that await me in december will certainly get my creative and literary juices flowing again. I hope to return to my blogging with a vengeance then. Meanwhile with the free time that opens up I am goin to sit down and start a new writing project...besides I am entering soon into my first business venture here with a friend. I have also realized if making my livelihood doesnt have anything to do with writing or doing something creative I dont want to come back home(thats as crazy as i get!)...I'd be as much happy here. Over the course of the last one year I hate myself for having conveyed to my family, grand illusions of literary talent, who believe I have supposedly inherited them from an ancestor who wuz a mahakavi. Its a heavy cross i will always bear, and I can never rest in peace unless I make an honest effort...and thats why I badly need this sabbattical from blogging and focus all my energies on this new writing "misadventure".

Some months back, I realized I was no more writing just for myself, I began imagining myself to be some columnist with a few dozen dedicated readers, that I believe is the power of the makes us journalists who raise questions about society and politics, satirists who mock prevalent norms, authors whose ordinary lives find exaltation in their writings. I know not if all the predictions of blogs replacing todays forms of mass media like newspapers, magazines, etc will happen but I know on a personal front the huge impact having a blog has had on my psyche, it has been my alter-ego, more than anything else I am left with wonderful memories in published form for eternity which i will keep revisiting, and there is so much still left to pen down, I know I will come back...

AMDG - Ad Majorem Dei Glorium


Anonymous said...

Aliyo, your punarjanmam will be on Jan?


Anonymous said...

Well Jiby
Are u sure u need a break??..Dont really think so..Goin by the characteristic ease by which u have regularly posted quality articles; it doesnt really look like u need a break..
Anyway guess my opinion is biased by the selfish motive of having a good read every 3-4 days..

Either way best of luck with ur efforts

Well as for me i'm still reeling under a massive writers block; guess the last i posted was in aug..

REVerenD said...

All the best in y ou business endeavour, pal!! hope you do well.

hoping to see you back again soon...bye

Sreejith Panickar said...

You are from Trivandrum, Los Angeles????!!!!!!

Jiby said...

shan, hopefully much earlier man...i guess to be dramatic u cud say my next post will be from indian soil.

naveen, i have given it a lot of thought and i think its for the best. and the way you write it needs 100 times more creativity than i understand how hard it is to break out of the shell you are in now. btw wht happened to that new bogged down again???

reverend, thanks and i will look forward to reading your blogs.

sreejith, yeah...i am from Los Angeles, Trivandrum. felt real sorry reading how your work got stolen.

silverine said...

Happy Birthday jiby.blogspot!!!!

First it was Neil, then Praveen and now its the turn of your wonderful blog to complete an eventful year!!

You dont need a break because you are writing some amazing posts ranging in issues as diverse as politics to humor. The words flow effortlessly. And I for one, am addicted!

Enjoy your holiday and I hope you realise that there are quite a few people, including me who visit this spot to revive our faith in bloging :))

Jiby said...

anjali, wuz a bit scared how some ppl, one of them, u, wud react to this. it wuz not a dearth of topics but my hesitation to experiment with different ways of conveying my ideas that led me to this...somewhere along the way i think i got too selfconscious and took my blogging too seriously and lost some of the joy i got from it.

silverine said...

You are right.When blogging becomes self conscious it loses it's very purpose, ie unfettered writing. That's what differentiates it from professional writing I guess.
But I see some amazing candor in your posts. In fact 'candor' is a hallmark of all your posts.

So here's hoping to see you back blogging again :)

Sujith said...

and thus continues the saga of Jiby, the great blogger!!! :-)) good going man..

Unknown said...

Jiby chettah,
I just finished commenting praveen. Now, I guess Praveen, you and I must have been triplets in some earlier janmam!
Congratulations! I'd agree with flashgordon, for selfish reasons, but then like you say, you might be in the easy-seat doing easy posts, which probably isn't increasing your literary width. But me, for one, I prefer your nostalgia posts and the personal ones! Keep blogging! And whatever misadventure, you're getting into, I'm sure with or without Mahakavi genes, you're gonna be wondeful!

Unknown said...

i think India is also well coneected ;) I guess ur senses will force u to blog in ur vacations. So when are you coming to India.

Praveen said...

Congratulations on completing one year of blogging, jiby. Its always been a pleasure reading your posts. And as Silverine says, the words flow effortlessly and makes for great reading.

Have a nice break but I hope you continue to put in a few blogs in this period too as I am eager to read what your site has in the offing in the months to come.

Arun said...

Time flies, doesnt it? You have lived out your life on this blog, and all your experiences, and everything that makes you, you. Its been nice, that even after 4 years of being together, you still realize that there is so much more to discover in a person. Great going man. Take a break and get back in full form!

Geo said...

'Jiby Starts Blogging...'
Is he planning to stop???

As all your friends and well-wishers have already pointed out, ur posts are great...

Hibernation, vacation, break, or whatever u want to call it... ur decision... ur choice...

Come back to rock!!! :_D

Matter of Choice said...

Hey Jiby,

was pretty much out of the blog world for about a month. jez came back n found that u r leaving!. hope u will be back with a bang soon!. have fun in ur kerala trip!

btwn our geography teacher used to make fun of my old friend sibi Kattakayam with the same mahakavi thing!. do lemme know if u manage to trace him in ur family :)