The Last Days...

Why did life have to be so tough??? The best part of my american life was the people i met, befriended and who endeared to me in ways I will never ever forget for a lifetime. The last few days i have experienced a happiness that found its way to finishing my packing, days in advance accompanied by the melancholic hues of parting. Friday night, I went for my last malayalam film, ever in LA - Bharathchandran I.P.S with my juniors...they remarked that going for a movie will never be the same again without me - all I could tell them was thanks for accompanying me for even the most horrendous of movies and never complaining for wasting their money even if the movie turned out bad. Saturday night, I went to the home and the people whose affection, simplicity and friendship I will never ever again find emulated in my life. My life in LA began 3 1/2 years back from their home...Babuettan and Binduchechi and their three children Sachin, Sidhu and most of all Sethu who were undoubtedly my best friends here. On the way, I talked to Bipin Sadhwani, I told him how I couldnot have an excuse for not being at his wedding now...we talked a lot until suddenly the car ahead of me sudden-braked, I saw it early and braked too, my tires screeched, but the van behind me was late, and he swerved to the next lane to avoid hitting me...it was a close call. Bipin wudnt talk to me after that and hung up...I thought fondly of my tempestuous relationship with him but then we were part of some great adventures too.

Babuettan and Binduchechi were happy for me, but their faces couldnt hide the sadness. To the kids, I tried my level best to tell them in all the simple words I could muster that their Jiby Uncle was leaving, but it wasnt of any use. They were cheerful as always, telling me they would see me in India...I am sure the kids will ask about me for a few days and like classmates they leave behind at an old school would forget me as a good memory of the past. Sethu, only 1 1/2 when I first landed here, and the light of my existence, I hugged him tightly, watched Tarzan with him, quarrelled with him - called him a baby for a last time, oh he is such a smart aleck now with a ready tongue, kissed and pinched his chubby cheeks a hundred times, tried telling him I would miss him and all he said was, he would be a big boy when I saw him next.... I felt my eyes welling up then. Like good old days when Jisha, Binduchechi, Babuettan and me would huddled around the table as usual at dinner in animated chatter...we did it one last time, my toungue loosened by a couple of pegs of chivas, babuettan poured to me, we talked about the future...someday about their plans to return, and how I should return if nothing worked out, the kind of gal I would marry and a lot of jokes followed about that...including the three new suits the kids got and how they asserted they would only wear it first time for my wedding.

I had to tear my way out...had planned to attend church at 11 at USC...but it was impossible to leave these people who gave me so much love and friendship...I baulked and baulked...I decided to give church a miss...finally gathered my wits, grabbed the kids hastily and said byes...binduchechi wished me like nobody else would ever match her affection, babuettan told me like the last 31/2 years his house would always remain open to me and that he would be there to help me any way he could...I cried all the way back home. Evening, again missed church...I dont know why i keep doing that...My classmates from school, I wonder if they called, we now have a call-conference which runs to a few hours every sunday evening now...but today I gave it a miss...I was just not in a mood to say anymore goodbyes. Last week however wuz non-stop comedy, old memories, poking fun, people were getting disconnected, fone batteries were dying out, ppl wud call someone and get back on-line...and in between one of these disruptions there was a brief silence.
Muthu asks: "Aarekke ondade ippam"
Someone replies: "Njan Onde. Avanum Onde"...and after a brief silence..."Pinne Mattavanum Onde"!!!
Muthu totally confused asks: "Ethe Njan, Ethe Avan, Ethe Mattavan!!!!!"
Its impossible to bade farewell to these guys...from 5 to 25 we kept falling all over each other, kept in touch like crazy, our school egroups sees like 150+ emails a month...I am sure they are all going to do great.

At night went to sujith's house at USC...mathew also walked in, simi, sujith's wife had as usual cooked a sumpuous dinner of kappa, fish curry, rice, aviyal and sambhar though I'd threatened not to come if she made anything out of the ordinary. After school got over in May'04, I hardly saw these guys a dozen times since but every time we meet we pick off our conversations in the same jolly manner like the old days when we used to meet almost every day. They warned me i was taking the hardest possible route to settling in India and how easy it was to get demoralized if I listened too much to the people around me. We broke up, promising to meet again, in India, I am sure I will meet all these people...too many wonderful memories ever to forget these wonderful people. I am back home now, my sis and I talked for a long time, then we quarrelled real badly, and she went to sleep. After going on a tangent for a year our lives now divert again. She was the one person who had the power to keep me here, but she said "Go for it"...I wrote this post I dont know for what, maybe to relieve my mind of all the farewells I bade and didnt...I sleep real late these days...dont think i'll be jet-lagged on getting back. Should I post this or not, wht the hell, i've written far worser crap...so here it comes, but I wonder what my feelings will be to read this post, 2 years from now...would it be a feeling of loss, or a swelling-out of sweet memories that will accompany me then?? If you all still have the patience to read me, we'll find out together!!!

Snap 1 - Thats Sachin on Babuettans lap, Sidhu on top of me and Sethu dangling from my leg.
Snap 2- Thats my sweet, cuddly hamster on my lap.