Saturday, October 22, 2005

A Journey Begins...

Thank You all for the support. When I blogged that last post I was admittedly unsure about what to do next. But I have looked at my options, thought them all out and I know what I am going to do. I am going to prepare for the IAS exams...history, geography, english, civics, economics, gk and current affairs were always my strengths in loyola, the last few days I have spent reading the vast syllabus and I realize I am goin to gain so much knowledge with this effort it will finally drive me to what I always wanted to do...write books. Besides if I get through I will be working at the grassroots, I'll actually be dealing with people's problems, I get to implement a lot of policies and I know I am street-smart enough to have my way around our politicians. And the best part is, if I qualify thru the prelims there's a Malayalam paper I would need to prepare for and I look forward to reading all those wonderful novels in Malayalam i missed and man...maybe that will help me even write a script for a mallu film.

The way I see it...and as you guys will have felt after reading the above para, its a win-win situation whatever happens, I have thought my vistas out well, I am not somebody who makes a decision for the heck of it. I am amazed at the clarity with which I see things now, coming to the US was the right decision because I have seen life, I have faced hardships, I have known disappointment, I have seen the world, I became so much wiser and finally it gave me the courage and determination to pursue the IAS. Doing my B.Tech brought out all my abilities among a very encouraging set of friends and M.S gave me a technological edge which I am sure is goin to help me in the road ahead and the last 1.5 years helped me to realize how mediocre my life was goin to turn out if I went to work just praying for evening to turn up, and then left work in the evening praying for night-time so that I could go to sleep. I am planning to return by the second week of november and make up for lost time. I'll be stationed at trivandrum and studying with correspondence material...all those great libraries, my dad's friends in the ias are resources that will keep me focussed in this himalayan task besides the reassuring presence of my ammachi, pops and mom.

I am bracing up for a few years drowned in books, I am feeling sorry for my parents, as happy as they are with my choice I can feel the fear that envelopes them for their son who is leaving behind a life of comforts, a country of plenty and possibly great wealth and that too at an an age when i was naturally expected to take their matters too into my hands, thinking of them will make sure I wont let my guard down for even a minute. The last few days I got many emails of encouragement from school and collegemates which I will treasure...one day when I get to my destination all those emails will be posted here. In a way this habit of blogging opened up a pandora's box in my life... the more I became honest with the posts I put up here, the more troubled I kept getting and of sinking further and further into a life that would lead me only into unhappiness...dunno when I'll be able to blog again...lot of loose ends remain to be tied up here before I leave...i again have a lakshya in life...and nothing beats that feeling!

14 comments:

silverine said...

Jiby, you have so much courage and the conviction to steer your life in the direction that you want it to go and do the things that really matters to you. Best of luck in your endeavours.

Arun said...

lakshya ko har haal me paana hai!
go for it dude...India needs passionate people like you.

Jithu said...

hey thts great! guess what i enrolled for it once.. cudnt write the prelims due to an uni. exam. not saying that "allel kaanayirunnu" :-)) all the very best.

Nagu said...

congrats man a gr8 decision. All the best!

Neil Padayatty said...

I especially liked the movie script and writing options. Hope you'll give me an opportunity when I paint my masterpiece! Go!

Anonymous said...

"If my wishes were stars the night sky wouldn't be dark at all." Many many best wishes...

Shan said...

Top stuff mate!:-) ..I always had this feeling that you are the man for IAS. I am glad you took the right decision and I am sure you will make it... and on second thought it would be better if you kept the emails I send you to yourself? hehe

Anyways, cant wait to see ya on November!..aliyo and dont forget to bring the stuff I asked you to...by second week ramzan will be over and i would be back to BAD HABITS...buhahaha

Luv
Shan

Jiby said...

hey thank you guys for the good wishes...lets see if i can make it happen.

neil, i havent experienced enuf in life to be a good writer man. those days have to wait.

shan, of course...eda i am gonna get the best stuff i can, to pour down your poor parched throat...lol!

Thanu said...

Jiby,
Good luck with everything and great decision.

Sushil said...

Hey Jiby,
I was busy for a while and so didnt get to read the earlier post. Congrats on making the tough decision. People may tell you otherwise but as long as you know you are doign what you love doign and want to do that is all that matters. Also being at home after being away for a long time is joy that has to be experienced to be understood. From personal experience I can assure you you will love being back home in your own coutnry. The GC/Citizenship/ life in the US dont matter if your heart lies in India.

Best of luck in preparing for the exams and do continue blogging.

Geo said...

IAS...
thats cool...

a collector to quote as an acquaintance and show-off...;_)
(see how a mallu's brain works....) ha ha ha....

all the very best...

guess i am a bit late...was busy swimming around a flooded Bangalore residents layout... ;_)

Matter of Choice said...

hey jiby..

ias is awesome..with your interests i guess u will enjoy the preparation too..knew coupla guys who were trying for it last year. one guy made it to irs the other guy is trying again. good luck again!

anish

Praveen said...

all the best buddy in whatever you plan to do. who knows. you might be the next big script writer in mallu films :).

flaashgordon said...

Hi Jiby
Guess i heard of it all pretty later.

Actually aftr ur "Never again" blog i'd actually believed tht u've stopped blogging and so i had not been checking ur site

but yesterday something made me check it and there i read all about ur momentous decision to return 2 Swades.

I've also read the opinions of people and normally I 'd have sided with the naysayers ; but from what i know of u; i think "following ur heart" was not just an abrupt decision but a well thought-out one...

Best of luck with ur IAS. I dont have any doubt as to whether u'll get thru but i really hope u'll get the sort of responsibility u want. Guess it can be as varied as District Collector (hehe like MAMMOOTTY in The King ) to even something like chairman of Handloom Development Committee.
Hope u know the sort of system that u will be up against....

Here's wishing u all the best and will be there 2 receive u with the other B'lore bloggers whn u land in Bangalore :-))

May the force be with u!

flaash