Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Why Dont You Let Me Go, Dear Blog???

My blogging's become like the biblical seed sprewn amongst the thorn bushes. The blogger in me gets aroused in the early mornings after a long night but i fret and fume at my inability to lay my hands on a computer during those precious moments ...after sleep, classes and crappy food i am too crushed to write anything beyond a few lines...but then this has become one habit I hate to give up.

Paradise Regained...
Some days you see the clouds and the gloom it spreads. On other days you see the silver lining and am thankful for being so blessed. Thats a cycle of mood swings most upsc veterans warned me about but I dont know...I feel so happy and cheerful...being able to come back, being able to make this himalayan effort, competing with such an enormously talented horde of Indians...whatever be the end result I am just basking in every moment of this existence which I have been able to raise above the mundane. I now realize all the benefits of the education at Loyola stand squared...they maynot be able to match my general knowledge or english speaking skills but the sheer-single minded determination of these boys and gals from the remotest parts of India...some even from villages...humbles me, frustrates me and goads me on.

The Boys and I...
Finally I caught up with them...and what a day it was. Five of my buddies from Loyola in and around Delhi came calling and we caught up with each others lives for the past 4 years. Chairman, took the train down from Hissar and I was seeing him after 7 years, Tharian and I was seeing after 4 years and he looked so stressed out from YumBeeYe horrors that he fell asleep a few times, Puppy had to be cajoled out of his temporary abode at Kerala House and make it here. Thomman flew via Delhi to Srinagar and its been a long 4 years since I've met him. He grabbed me in a huge bear hug, lifted me off the ground and we stood there out on the road in a warm embrace for quite some time until the guys had to break us up. And finally Kicha arrived and for a change he arrived on time! Seeing him after 7 years, our affable, pleasant faced school leader gave me the biggest surprise. Long wavy hair and a french beard to go with it...i couldnt help remarking he looked so much like jesus christ in the picures.

I still cant understand how all these guys manage to stay so simple and cheerful. We automatically transform into the high-spirited teenagers we were 8 years back... Anyways we headed out for a teastall...sipped around 15 chais and samosas to go with it and chattering in animated voices that all the DU students hanging out there mus have wondered what freakin language we guys were talking in!!! The lone moment of sobriety arrived when we mourned the inevitable deluge of marriages about to set in from june and of thomman recounting the horrors of the earthquake and how they armymen gave up their tents and shivered thru the nite, though he was pissed that the people werent even grateful for the gesture. Finally the owner kicked us out, we took the metro(absoltutely f$%#ing marvellous...a sayyip would stare disbelieving....the taj mahal can take a bow...welcome to india's new wonder structures...kudos to sreedharan...i need to write a seperate post on this...shame on our tardy looking airports...the delhi metro is the face of new india...ok ok lemme stop!!!)It was an out of the world experience, more than the booze it was the reaffirmation that we were all an integral part of each others lives that struck me. Its a night that had a soothing effect on me...I havent laughed so much in ages...i had forgotten to borrow a mattress and four of us were left sleeping on my bed and a single blanket to cover each other. Like small kids we nudged, pushed and shoved for an extra inch of the bed and blanket and shouted and cursed at each other but i am sure we all finally went to sleep with a contented smile on our faces...

Untainted Idealism...
"Havent you read Freedom at Midnight and My Experiments with Truth???", thundered Chairman. I embarassingly replied in the negative. He gave me the old condescending look of yore of how I would ever become a good bureaucrat. Every batch of Loyola has produced its share of firebrands and here I was faced with an old friend who had worked at the grassroot level, travelled all over India and with a wealth of experience behind him, he had begun to prepare for the civil services. The harmless question chairman posed has brought me back to the world of books after a long long time. Besides grabbing the above two gems I stumbled on Pablo Neruda and my god, how I wish I could write atleast one poem like him. In October, when I leave Delhi for home one thing that sure will accompany me back home is atleast a suitcase full of novels that I plan to feast on, once this endeavour is over and before I embark on a new one. And to do me a world of good, I watched Rang de Basanti and I just sat amazed at the rapid strides Bollywood has made over the last few years. The way things are going, I am sure Indian cinema will soon take the world by storm like never before.

An old post comes calling...
The best post, I ever wrote, the basketball one found its way to some of the senior basketballers I wrote about and I am sure that must have been a proud moment for them and for me it was a revelation that a moment's inspiration is all I need to write a good post, though I often veer around to thinking that my best blogging days are over for good.

And finally though I am a day late lets all hope our country will again be blessed with men so unselfish and dedicated to the nation like Gandhiji and Bhagat Singh.