Enter The Last Lap...

The last two hours were amazing...i recharged my fone after 2 weeks and the calls started coming in and going out...talked to my parents, grandmothers, sis and a host of friends all over the place...from India to the US...and they've done the trick again...got me into a state of mind where I felt like blogging. Its the first time in life that I've no friends at arms length to confide in, joke with and fool around... but the moment these people call, I am so cheered up as though they just left my side. My sis had spent the day with my usc pals, sujith and his wife simi and they bullied me to jealousy with how as of old they had downloaded and watched 3 malayalam movies at a stretch and of how i was missing out on all the new malayalam and english movie releases which never ever happened in 4 years in LA, thomman called from some jungle in kashmir and without net connection i had to convey to the poor fellow all the happenings in our batch in exchange for a round of "josh", shan's voice seemed all animated with the record cricket match at Wanderers and good old motta excitedly recounted the preparations going on for his wedding which i'm fated to miss and finally i teased my two lovely grandmas, one of whoim celeberated her 83rd birthday today, to blushes and infectious laughter which travelled with their sweet voices all the way to delhi.

Month of Disquiet...
I'd like to banish memories of february to the dustbin. I soon found out that a lot of study that i had seemingly done was washed away. I was appalled at my retention ability which was something i've always been proud of from the schooldays. I guess it must have had to do with the huge reading list day in and day out, that something new studied, cleaves away the old. I realized I had to start cramming - "to by-heart" was a phrase I hated with a fervor i reserved for pavakka thorran...and in this autumn of my academic life I had to learn to do some things anew. My motivation tapered off somewhere down the line, I began to watch movies and the india-pak matches too. A few hours into my books and without even knowing what hit me...I would be fast asleep. The model tests started and seeing my miserable scores and many ppl i had disdainfully rejected as non-starters in this effort scoring high, i was piqued, even humbled and i realised i had to do whatever it takes. Anyways March has begun well, I shifted my apartment to a ramshackle almost mohalla-like area witha perennial water problem, far away from the madding crowd and miraculously the ennui that seemed to completely envelope me has lifted, and I am back to "merrily" cramming away.

The Company of Good Men...
A good dose of peer "pressure" or to state it better peer achievements has injected a fresh dose of ambition in me. A classmate from Loyola, Arun cracked the MD exam at St.John's Blore in his 3rd attempt, kicha has been invited to join some of the most prestigious post-grad architecture courses in the US and Europe, a close bud motta is hiring an employee at his architecture firm to take the extra workload of his back(he works in the morning at the office of a senior architect and in the evening at his place!), two other schoolpals, jinu and ichayan began their Ph.D programs in the US, three other loyolites feel settled enough to begin married life soon and two of my fellow-savages from college saw their firm Neologix on a hiring spree reaching double digits and hungry for further expansion. Brick-by-brick everyone is laying strong foundations for succesful careers and I have realized I cant afford to blink now.

The Lost Moonflower...
My uncle's novel finally comes out this year and that is the title. It is based on Christian mythology...those of you who are expecting somthing akin to Da Vinci Code, feel ready to be disappointed...he's a preist...hehe! My sis and cousins helped in the proof-reading and cover selection and though he sent me the manuscript I've still not found the time to read it, forget even critiqueing it or give him any feedback. I guess I'll finally wait for an autographed copy to start reading! The malayalam translation I believe is being done by D.C.Books. One of my greatest regrets and source of envy is that my cousins got to be moulded, taught and guided by this great man while I've never been satisfied with the measly amount of time I've got to spent with him the last 25 years. An abiding memory will be how he introduced my grandmother to his churchmembers during sunday service when we visited his church during our US trip in '98. He said, "this 5th form educated woman taught me the ABC's of the English language and my first nursery rhymes"...and I remember everyone in the church including my mom, her other brother and all of us kids with tears in our eyes and she getting a standing ovation from the laiety. Finally, coming to think of it, from a malayalam-medium primary education in a tiny hamlet in Kerala to an English novel...wow, what can certainly beat that!

The Months Ahead...
D-Day is looming 60 odd days away on May14. The exam-fever has begun to strike home and I am beginning to feel the twitch in my tummy. A lot of work remains to be done. Its a battle where I was always strained for time, further compounded by my mental wrangles...but I still think I'm in with a really good chance. I came to write about something else, but have ended up not sticking to the plot. To blog or study well, you need a clear head and crisp thinking...but with so much history, economy and civics playing truant with me...I guess I'm still doing a good job and will overcome more rounds of inevitable disillusionment just waiting around the corner. To round off, an object of infinite wonder and a comrade in this effort continues to perplex me...Pappanabhan, this master of gaffes, continues to impress me...i doubt there would be another serious upsc aspirant who has a laptop and broadband connection for perennial company and he's even begun blogging too, at this late juncture while i've fearfully abjured the laptop and the internet for its forbidden pleasures which would certainly have lead me astray but is his way of maintaining sanity and a cool head.